You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
