How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
