So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
