i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize