Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
