New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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