eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize