we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
