no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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