everyone is single if you try hard enough
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
