even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
