Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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