walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
