the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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