in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
