alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize