I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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