I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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