do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
