that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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