i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
