im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
