hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize