she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
