From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
