When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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