Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just want nice things and good sex
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
