It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There r osticjed everywhere
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
