he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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