Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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