you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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