"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
