And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
