I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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