OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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