It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
