Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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