he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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