My friends, they love my intelligence
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
