So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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