he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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