Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
