Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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