I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
