better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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