I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
