I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
