I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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