she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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