well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
worst night to have a conscience
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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