He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
