My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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