Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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