i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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