So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
