i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
