Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Is it because I queefed?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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