That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
