Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
