i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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