went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
