walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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