do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
