can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
